the idea that you never forget how to ride a 3-wheeler is crap!

Hey all,

Well, I've received a little feed back from a few of my friends and it was pretty positive. So, on I go whether anyone reads this or not.

It has been eventful since last I 'blogged". Yuck, I gotta say that I hate the way that sounds. Why couldn't it be pipped, or smickled, or anything but blogged. Sounds gross, like I have to clean something up when I'm done.

Well, the gross name aside, we've had a busy couple of days. A teetering scooter accident, a doc run, explaining what stenosis is a couple of hundred times and some miscellaneous mumblings about dirty houses, the way the city looks, etc. We get into the doctor's office and the conversation goes something like this:

"So, Mrs. Chutz, I hear you had a little spill from your scooter."

"Not really, where did you hear that?"

"Well, your daughter told me so we X-rayed you right hip, your left hip, and your wrist."

Well," mum says, "I don't know why she told you that, it's really no big deal. I'm here because my hip has a big lump on it and it hurts when I touch it."

Doc Crossett says, "Well that makes sense Mrs. Chutz, you have a pin, plate, & 4 screws."

"I don't know why I didn't just have a hip replacement" mum says.

"Well, you didn't break your hip, you broke your femur. Things would have been easier if it would have been your hip."

So mum replies, "Shit, I screwed that one up, didn't I?"

The doc laughs and says so what are you here for today.

Mum answers, "there's a spot on my right hip that really hurts."

"Um, that would be the big sliding screw in your hip that I just pointed out on the x-ray Mrs. Chutz."

"Eeew, is that me? That looks like a chicken but and chicken fat." (mind you, we were looking at an x-ray of her pelvic area and hips)

The doctor and his little doctor's assistant, who doesn't know what to make of her, are laughing and getting a real kick out of her. Not the laughing where it's at her, but with her and her sense of humor.

So he says to her, "anything else we need to talk about today?" My mother replies, "My legs and my lower back hurt so much. Sometimes it is my lower legs, sometimes it is in my upper legs, sometimes it's just all over. I don't know why."

So the doctor tells her, "It's stenosis Mrs. Chutz". "Oh right", she says, "but what makes my legs and my back hurt so much?" The doctor looks at me with a questioning eye and tells her again that it is stenosis. Finally after the 3rd round of these questions, he tells her all looks good and that we should come back in 6 months, sooner if anything changes. He leaves the room and she turns to me and says, "He comes in for 5 minutes, looks at me, never answers my question and walks out. What good was that?" I cannot help but laugh and then she gets mad at me. "I just want to know what makes my legs hurt."

Now, I know the scenario I just related to you makes me sound like I am making fun of her, but I am not. When something hurts, you are so desperate for an answer, you ask over and over again. But, we all know how doctors are, and the 4th time she asked the same question, he was

under the impression that Simple Simon was in the office and he must have figured that I was the assistant Pie Maker.

So the scooter, the infamous 3 wheeled scooter! Just one thing to say about that. Piece of S**T. I cannot believe they don't have like, a jillion wrecks on them a week. You'd think that it would be the #1 danger to senior riders out there. There is just no scenario in which they can be overly safe. Last week, mum, Tim, & Suzy were on their way down to the clubhouse, (sounds so much better than the "center". that just sounds like a place where old people go to do ceramics, play bridge, and fart around. uh, now i get it! that's what they do there!) Anyhow, the three of them are on their way down to the clubhouse and just a bit down from mum's house, they watch an old gentleman round the bend and BOOM, over he goes! 2 weeks ago mum is riding "side-saddle and she manages to run into a wall and take a chunk out of her heel. It is so easy to take the corners on 2 wheels, that sucker goes from turtle to jackrabbit just like magic! So, we tell her that we are going to get a 4 wheel scooter for her, and she freaks about spending the money. I told her that we can sell it and Mike tells her that we can even give it away to some poor person that would benefit from a scooter. I told him that someone poor person getting hurt on it was much better than mum getting hurt!

So, that's it for now. Many more to post. Just have to do them one at a time!

TTFN ~ gotta bounce.*

Tina

*that's the wonderful thing about Tiggers.

How I got where I am now!

Well hey there. Here I am, a 49 year old baby boomer. It is Sunday night and I am sitting here, watching tv, and laughing to myself about things my mother does and her ability to make me completely crazy without even trying!

A little background info. I am the baby of 5 and I come from a very strong ethnic family. My dad was 100% Italian with 12 brothers and sisters. My mum is an English/Irish girl, emphasis on the Irish. Now, if you know anything about either of these nationalities, AND about the "greatest generation" ~ our seniors that grew up during WWII ~ you will know that their attachment to family is very important. These are men & women that came from homes where their grandparents lived with them . . . you know, Willy Wonka syndrome, where Grandpa Joe, Grandma Josephine, Grandpa George, and Grandma Georgina all live in the middle of the squished up little house with the whole family caring for them. Well yep, as you guessed, I grew up with my Granny & Grandpa living in our front room, being an integral part of our lives. So are you starting to put the pieces together?

As I said before, I am the baby and therefore, I am exceptionally close to my mum. When I was in high school, I wasn't the average teenager. Yeah, yeah, I dated my fare share of guys and went to the dances, rah rahed my way through football and basketball games, but I owned a Rolls Royce, a luxury yacht, a lear jet, diamonds and riches beyond your wildest dreams, all prizes in my "Name that Tune" contest that I carried out with my mum & dad, guessing in just 3 notes, the titles to songs sung by Frankie, Dino, Lena, and yes, even Eddie Arnold.

We have traveled together, shopped together, (WHOA have we shopped together) fought, fussed, laughed 'til we peed our pants, literally, had dogs, cats, mice, rabbits, birds, snakes, peeps, ducks, chipmunks, (not by choice but because of the cat), a horse, friends, enemies, frenemies. We have done all of the proverbial "mother-daughter" stuff that makes mothers and daughters what they're supposed to be, but we have transcended that. We have done something that most mother~daughter combos should never have to do, we have survived the death of our beloved daughter~sister. Now, I don't tell you this to make you sad, or to turn this rant morose, I only tell you this so you will understand why we have moved to the next level of attachment.

When was the last time you went to the bathroom and someone told you to be careful? Yup, that is what happens when a mum looses a child, no matter what age either the surviving kid . Wait, wait, don't get mad at me and tell me that I am being insensitive or snotty about losing a child. I just want you to understand that my mother is now soooo overprotective of me and my brothers, their wives, my husband, all of our kids, our dogs, our cats, our mailmen, well, you get the point. She drives her self KA-RAAAZY worrying about all of us. It is sweet, but just for the record, it makes all of us KA-RAAAZY too!

I live my mumma more than I can begin to tell you. I don't know what I would do without her, and quite frankly, I try not to think too much about that. So, in order to divert my morbid thoughts, I concentrate on the ridiculous stuff she does that makes her such an entertaining, exacerbating, loveable, nutjob!

I know that there have to be tons of you out there that are also "your mother's keepers". I want to hear from you! In the meantime, I will continue to post the ridiculous things she does that make me psycho and mumma that much more endearing!

Thanks for reading. Thanks for laughing!* Thanks for endulging me. My kids and my husband truly appreciate my venting through written word as opposed to ranting and raving at them. Who, me?

Be back soon.
Tina

*with any luck you laughed! this is not meant to dis me mum, just have a little fun with who she is!